Introverts and Friends
Nature,
silence,
peace..
Music,
lyrics,
melodies..
Poems,
stories..
Introvert's friends.
Jan 19, 2015
Quotes about Introverts (insightful) - http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/introverts
Poems by Introverts - http://hellopoetry.com/words/40424/introvert/poems/
More Poems by Introverts - http://allpoetry.com/poems/about/Introvert
Famous Introverted People: Emily Dickenson - http://lonerwolf.com/emily-dickinson-introvert/
10 Really Great Things About Being An Introvert - http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/10-great-things-about-being-an-introvert.html
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Because I’ve moved so much and because I am an introvert I don’t have many friends. I mean the kind of person who’ll come to my house or ask me to theirs just to spend time together. As for the people I “know” right now, if they did ask me to hang out, I’d have no clue what to do or how to act.
Over the past month I’ve had the opportunity to hang out and spend time with a few people who’ve actually made me feel comfortable around them. I have to admit though, that when I was camping there was one person who commented to me that he wasn’t sure if I was having fun because I didn’t show it. Well, I didn’t drink because it was a new group of people and I need to feel comfortable around them first. Also I don’t get loud and boisterous when I’m having fun but I smile and laugh and try to be active with what everyone else is doing. If I wasn’t enjoying myself I would’ve made up some excuse to go home. Not being overly demonstrative is one of the downfalls of being an introvert.
The problem I have with hanging out with people for an extended amount of time is that I become comfortable with them and coming home can be a big adjustment. Sure I enjoy my alone time just as much as any other introvert but coming home means that I won’t interact with any other adults for a couple of weeks. I go days upon days without ever talking to another adult because I work from home and raise my children. The only adults I talk to are clients and that’s business not quality time.
The other problem I have after hanging out with people is figuring out whether or not to communicate with them afterwards. I question everything I do:
- should I text them? maybe they’re busy?
- do they want to text me?
- did I hang out for too long?
- are they glad I’m gone?
- do they want to talk to me?
- will they answer me?
- what do I do if they don’t answer me?
- what should I do if I’m the only one texting or messaging them and they don’t initiate conversation?
- do they still like me?
- do they dislike me now that we’ve spent time together?
- the questions are endless!
Introverts need people too – even one person we feel comfortable with who we can actually be ourselves around. People who are okay with an introverts personality.
- small talk is torture
- crowds are stressful
- we have a small group of close friends (if we have any that is)
- feeling alone in a crowd is quite the norm
- we hear the same questions repeatedly – what are you thinking? are you okay? are you having fun?
- we wait to text back – and re-think every word we say
- taking walks is our favorite exercise
- networking makes us feel like a fake
- puzzles are intriguing – especially people who are puzzling
- people think we’re too intense
- books and movies are the best way to chill out
- we enjoy talking to people about subjects we’re passionate about
- we’re very picky about stuff – music, food, movies, friends
- we don’t trust easily – but sometimes we make bad judgement when we’re too isolated
- we’re easily distracted …hey look there’s a squirrel!
- we’re really a great listener
- people often interrupt us because we listen so well and they forget we sometimes have something to say
- we plan ahead …alot
- if we like something we absolutly love it …or we absolutely hate it – there doesn’t seem to be an in-between
- giving a talk to 500 people is easy – mingling and making small talk afterwards is hard
- too much activity causes a shutdown – pj’s and warm drinks are necessary
- observation is an activity we enjoy
- once we find a friend we tend to open up like a book – sometimes this makes us feel vulnerable if the person isn’t a true friend
- we know what we like and aren’t worried about missing out on new things
- extroverts are the best relationship partners
- we screen all our calls – even from friends
- we take it very personall when someone we thougt we were close to starts to ignore us
- getting lost in our thoughts happens alot even when other people are talking to us
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BATTLE CRY OF THE INTROVERT
by menoword
May 12, 2013
I don’t write as much poetry as I used to…probably because I am no longer as depressed as I used to be. A few years ago, I suffered some really bad spells and it seemed that the only way I could work my way out of them was to write how I felt…because sometimes I was literally incapable of speech.
In recent days however, my muse seems to have resigned from the poetry inspiration department and moved to short story writing…my muse is obviously unable to multi-task. Anyway, whenever I do write poetry, it is no longer the deep heart wrenching expression of loss and brokenness and greyness that I used to write…my poems are more..well…they’re just odd…I don’t mind though, I like discovering how my mind works.
So anyhow, this is a poem I wrote about being an introvert… I think that it puzzles many of my friends and acquaintances that I can completely disconnect from the world around me and retreat to the relative safety of my room and the world in my laptop… my family just accepts that I’m cuckoo and gets on with it but anyway… here’s the poem.
BATTLE CRY OF THE INTROVERT
I am not an extrovert; I am a socially proficient introvert
I interact not because I like to, but because I can
I have learned the art of conversation
Of meaningless sentences strung together to make a pleasant sounding thread
Just like white noise
I am not an extrovert; nothing wears me out more than people
With their pettiness and their drama and their lies
I have learned to listen but not absorb
To understand without accepting
To be present but not involved
I am not an extrovert; crowds bore me, people tire me
I do not wish to know who did what to whom on what day with which witnesses
I promise you, I do not care
Life is complicated enough without needing to puzzle out the details
Of everyone else’s drama.
I am an introvert; and that is why,
No matter how sweetly I smile,
Or how deeply I seem to listen,
Nothing pleases me more than curling up in my bed
With my books and my thoughts for company
I am an introvert; and so,
Despite how well I put words together
I would much rather write, or tweet
And free myself to expression,
Without the burden of interaction
I am an introvert; the chronicler of your stories
Watching from the side-lines, I’d rather not go on the stage
I’ll watch and talk and listen
And then eagerly rush home, to recount all I have seen and heard
To my patiently waiting computer
I apologize if I seem rude, or unconcerned or distant
It’s just that life is so much sweeter
Standing where I am
I love you very much, I promise I do
I am your friend, I promise I am
But allow me to be one, from way over here
Where I can love you, without having to talk to you
Thank you
- menoword
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WORLD INTROVERT DAY
WHO THEY ARE AND WHO THEY ARE NOT
HTTP://INTROVERTDEAR.COM/2015/01/01/INTROVERTS-WORLD-INTROVERT-DAY/
By Jenn Granneman
January 1, 2015
Introverts have received a lot of attention lately, yet misconceptions about introversion still exist. Who are introverts, really? And perhaps more importantly, who are they not?
Introverts make up 30-50 percent of the population.
That means up to half of the world is introverted.Introverts loathe small talk, but they enjoy meaningful conversation.
“Introverts crave meaning, so party chitchat feels like sandpaper to our psyche,” writes author Diane Cameron.When in relationships, introverts want to keep up with their partner’s inner life, not just day-to-day events.
“When an introvert cares about someone, she also wants contact, not so much to keep up with the events of the other person’s life, but to keep up with what’s inside: the evolution of ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings,” writes Laurie Helgoe in her book Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength.Introverts become distracted and overwhelmed in highly stimulating environments.
Introverts are known for their extraordinary ability to focus intensely for long periods of time in quiet, minimally stimulating environments. Yet in highly stimulating environments, introverts tend to either zone out because there’s too much going on, or they become distracted. On the flip side, “extroverts are commonly found to be more easily bored than introverts on monotonous tasks, probably because they require and thrive on high levels of stimulation,” Clark University researchers wrote in a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.Despite preferring to work alone, introverts can still be good team players.
“We just don’t need to be in the same room as the rest of the team at all times. We would much prefer to have part of the project carved out for us to squirrel away with it in our offices, consulting as necessary but working independently,” writes Sophia Dembling in The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World.Introverts often feel more lonely and bored in a crowd than when they are actually alone.
“I am rarely bored alone; I am often bored in groups and crowds,” writes Helgoe.Introverts often express themselves better in writing than in conversation.
Writing allows introverts time to gather their thoughts and select just the right words.Introverts are often called “old souls.”
“Introverts tend to think hard and be analytical,” Dembling tells Huffington Post. “That can make them seem wise.”Introverts notice details that others might miss.
They often have a keen eye for detail. They might notice the subtle shift of a friend’s mood or the slight variations of color and texture in a piece of art.Introverts often feel alienated.
“In an extroverted society, we rarely see ourselves in the mirror. We get alienating feedback. Alienating feedback comes in the form of repeated encouragement to join or talk, puzzled expressions, well-intended concern, and sometimes, all-out pointing and laughing. Alienating feedback happens when we hear statements like, ‘What kind of loser would be home on a Saturday night?’ Alienating feedback happens where neighborhoods, schools, and offices provide no place to retreat. Alienating feedback happens when our quiet spaces and wilderness sanctuaries are seen as places to colonize,” writes Helgoe.Introverts may end up in one-sided relationships.
“Because introverts are typically good listeners and, at least, have the appearance of calmness, we are attractive to emotionally needy people. Introverts, gratified that other people are initiating with them, can easily get caught in these exhausting and unsatisfying relationships,” writes Adam McHugh in Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture.Introverts tend to internalize problems.
“We place the source of problems within and blame ourselves. Though introverts may also externalize and see others as the problem, it’s more convenient to keep the problem ‘in house.’ Internalizers tend to be reliable and responsible, but we can also be very hard on ourselves,” writes Helgoe.Introverts are not necessarily shy.
According to Susan Cain, author of Quiet, shyness is the fear of negative judgment, while introversion is having a preference for minimally stimulating environments. You can be an introvert without being shy, like Bill Gates. There are even extroverts, like Barbara Streisand, who are shy.Introverts aren’t anti-social.
They alternate between periods of work and solitude, and periods of social activities. They may have strong social skills, be talkative, have deep relationships, and enjoy going out with friends. They simply need downtime after socializing to recharge.Introverts aren’t just extroverts who need to come out of their shells.
About introverts, Cain writes, “At school you might have been prodded to come ‘out of your shell’ — that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.”Introverts are not people who need to be “fixed.”
Of course, we all have habits or behaviors we could improve, whether we’re an introvert or an extrovert. Yet introversion is not a flawed way of being or a “problem” that needs fixing. Helgoe writes, “Your nature is not the problem. The problem is that you have become alienated from your nature — from your power source.”
